omg_fma | C!Envy, T!Ed// 05/17/07

Who: Transmutey!Ed and Contractor!Envy... Or Subconscious!Ren. Whatever you wanna call him.
When: 05/17/07
Rating: PG-13
Category: Side Plots
Summary: Ed starts hallucinating, and hallucinates his husband. Long story short, this was supposed to be a happy OOC log. So... that failed.

C!Envy:*wanders into Ed's room, not making a sound, inspecting various instruments and monitors*

T!Ed: *curled up under a blanket with his back to the room, twitching a little and making small noises*

C!Envy:*looks up at the noise, moving toward him and smoothing the blankets gently over him, pulling them up a little*

T!Ed: *jerks, glancing up at him sharply, expecting to see either Hohenheim or Denna or one of the scarred nurses; relaxes when he sees who it
is, smiling softly*

C!Envy:*smiles back, leaning down and kissing him softly, murmuring* Did you miss me?

T!Ed: *kisses back, giving him a small nod* I thought I would never see you again.

C!Envy:*shakes his head, still smiling, brushing fingers through his hair* You should know better than that.

T!Ed: *tilts his head into Ren's hand, eyes sliding shut, smile still in place* I was so scared.

C!Envy:I know, love. I'm so sorry... *slides onto the bed with him, wrapping arms around him with fingers still moving through his
hair*

T!Ed: *curls around him, draping an arm over him and moving his fake leg carefully* Will we get to home soon?

C!Envy:*smiles sadly* You know we can't. *glances down to the strange unevenness of the blankets falling over the prosthetic*

T!Ed: *brow furrows* Why can't we? You can take me home, can't you? *rests his head on his chest, nuzzling gently* They've done terrible things...

C!Envy:You know why. *holds him protectively, running a hand over the connection between skin and metal of his leg* They have... *brushes a finger over his lips sadly*

T!Ed: *kisses his fingertip gently* I'll stay so they can't have you... I'll endure more for you.

C!Envy:*shakes his head, holding the fingertip still* You won't last.

T!Ed: *nibbles lightly* I'd do whatever it takes to protect you.

C!Envy:But I need you back, I want you back with me... *leans down, kissing him gently, slowly*

T!Ed: *kisses back, arms around his shoulders and snuggling closer* Then let's leave together...

C!Envy:You know we can't do that. *kisses down his neck softly* You know this isn't real.

T!Ed: Don't say that, Ren. Please don't say that... *tilts his head a little, squeezing his eyes shut*

C!Envy:*sucks at a spot on his neck, nipping sharply* I'll say anything you want me to.

T!Ed: *cries out softly* It won't be the same...

C!Envy:*leans up, breathing against his ear* I love you. That is always the same. I love you so much...

T!Ed: Then take me home. Take me home if you love me so much. Let me see my friends again and be safe with you...

C!Envy:You know I want to. *looks at him, pained*

T!Ed: Then do it. *clings to him tightly, face buried against his chest*

C!Envy:*holds him back, kissing the top of his head* Shhhh... One way or another, it will be over soon.

T!Ed: ...Am I going to die?

C!Envy:Do you want to?

T!Ed: If I can't go home and I have to stay here... *bites his lip, nodding slowly*

C!Envy:I am not in charge of that. *smiles a little* I am not in charge of anything. *runs a hand down his abdomen slowly*

T!Ed: ...I just want to die... *presses into his hand, shivering*

C!Envy:It isn't time yet. *slips the hand under his hospital gown, trailing fingers over his stomach*

T!Ed: When will it be time? *squeezes his eyes shut against tears, muscles fluttering beneath his fingertips*

C!Envy:When will you give up? *brushes a finger over his nipples, barely touching* Just forget about me and let it end...

T!Ed: *gasps softly, arching into the touches* Can't forget about you...

C!Envy:It would be so much easier, though. You could just sleep... *strokes his index finger down Ed's throat exposed throat*

T!Ed: See you everytime they hurt me... Everytime I'm in pain, I remember you... *makes a small, whimpering sound*

C!Envy:They hurt you so badly. *knowing nod, drops the hand under the sheets, tracing the stitches surrounding the metal in his leg*

T!Ed: *winces faintly, clinging to him* They're not done.

C!Envy:They won't be until they break you. But you already know that. *strokes his cheek softly*

T!Ed: What will they do now? *presses into his hand, watching him with partially closed eyes*

C!Envy:Tear you apart. *looks back at him steadily with a look of infinite apology and sadness*

T!Ed: *nods his head slowly in understanding, shaking lightly*

C!Envy:You aren't alone here.

T!Ed: You aren't real.

C!Envy:*smiles faintly* That isn't nice. *kisses him deeply, hand wandering down his side*

T!Ed: *kisses back, pressing against* This is just a dream, isn't it? I'm going to wake up and be hurt again.

C!Envy:Shhhh... *laps lightly at where the stitches over his mouth should be*

T!Ed: *whimpers softly* I don't want to wake up. I want to die, Ren.

C!Envy:*smiles softly, kissing along his jaw* I love the way it sounds when you say my name.

T!Ed: Ren... Ren Ren Ren Ren... *tips his head back, fingers curlings in the fabric of his shirt*

C!Envy:Edward... *brushes lips over his earlobe* I love you.

T!Ed: *moans softly, sniffling* I-I love you...

C!Envy:You love me more than your own life? *nuzzles behind his ear*

T!Ed: Yes... I'm doing this for you, all of this for you. *shivers deeply*

C!Envy:*breathes softly against his skin* What can I do in return?

T!Ed: Kill me. Let me die here with you. *lets his eyes slide shut, laying limply against him*

C!Envy:How could I do something like that? *holds him
protectively*

T!Ed: Give me the will to walk away from here and find something to kill myself with. J-just anything, Ren, I'm so scared...

C!Envy:Will is something. *smiles sadly* Arms strapped into restraints is another. *reaches for one of Ed's arms, restraint free, lifting it to kiss the back of his hand* Are you afraid I will not come for you?

T!Ed: I can't even scratch my nose if I wanted. *smiles weakly back, shaking his head* I'm afraid you'll come too late.

C!Envy:Does it itch? *kisses the tip of his nose* How long do you think you have?

T!Ed: No. *leans up a little to kiss him* They're taking me into surgery again soon.

C!Envy:Sorry. I'm only subconscious-- I don't get to know these things. *smiles ruefully and kisses back with a low moan* You haven't had your medicine in three days or something... aren't you glad you're schizophrenic now? I will be right there, all the time they are destroying you.

T!Ed: I don't want you to have to see that. I don't want you to have to see any of what they do to me. Why would I subject you to that, subconscious or not? I am not so selfish...

C!Envy:Shhhh, shh... I could never leave you alone, you know that. *shifts slightly to lie partially on top of him, one leg half-slung over his hips*

T!Ed: I don't want you to have to see... Please don't watch... *keeps arms around him and looks up at him pleadingly*

C!Envy:You know I have to. *looks back sadly*

T!Ed: Why? *rests his forehead against his*

C!Envy:*shuts his eyes, leaning back* You know why.

T!Ed: *shakes his head slowly against Ren's forehead* I don't...

C!Envy:I have to see... *kisses him again, lingeringly*

T!Ed: *kisses him deeply* You don't have to see...

C!Envy:Then forget me. *murmuring against his lips, still kissing*

T!Ed: I can't... *coils fingers of one hand in his hair, kissing*

C!Envy:*moans, pressing against him* So I am here with you. *speaking between kisses* I will watch while they hurt you, and I will whisper in your ear and keep you with me. I won't let you think about them or the pain... I'll let you forget all of this...

T!Ed: I can't do this, Ren, I can't... *sobs softly, pressing his face to his shoulder*

C!Envy:You have to, now. You know that. *rests their hips together gently, stroking his hair*

T!Ed: I'm too weak... *squirms a little beneath him, crying harder*

C!Envy:We both know that isn't true. *hugs him tightly, sitting up and pulling Ed to him*

T!Ed: *curls into his lap, resting against his chest with arms wrapped tightly around himself* If I were stronger, they would all be dead by now. I would be free and with you.

C!Envy:How would you do such a thing? *holds him tightly, rocking a little* You could try now, when they come to do their rounds. They will have to undo your restraints. You have a leg, now. You can fight.

T!Ed: I will fight. *tenses* I'll find my way back to you.

C!Envy:You cannot change dimensions on your own. *stills as well, nuzzling his cheek*

T!Ed: I can try. That - that thing like me... He visits on the rounds. I can use him to take me home...

C!Envy:*kisses him deeply* You are the most beautiful of your doubles, have I ever told you that?

T!Ed: *kisses back breathlessly with a soft moan* You have, but I never get tired of hearing it...

C!Envy:*smiles against his lips* Well you are... *nips gently at his lip* Can you walk alright? Have you tried the leg?

T!Ed: *gasps softly, nuzzling against his cheek* I haven't tried it. I don't want to.

C!Envy:Why not..? *turning to kiss him again* You can kill them all. *smiles slowly, bloodily*

T!Ed: It's made by his people. *kisses back, flushing faintly at the smile* I will kill them.

C!Envy:So? It will let you walk and run and jump and rip and tear and crush. *bares his teeth savagely, running fingers down his spine* Kill them all for me...

T!Ed: *shivers, making a small noise* They'll all die and it'll be for you...

C!Envy:Make them hurt for me?~ *smile changes, innocent*

T!Ed: They'll hurt worse than anything they've done to me or you.

C!Envy:Mmm~ *leans down to kiss him again, hard*

T!Ed: *kisses back deeply, melting against him with a low moan*

C!Envy:*makes a soft sound, tangling a hand in his hair and pulling him closer*

T!Ed: *presses agaisnt him, arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly, nipping gently at his lips*

C!Envy:*smiles, leaning back against the headboard of their own bed and running hands low down his sides*

T!Ed: *looks around, almost surprised to see the walls and things from their own bedroom, shivering deeply and pressing into his hands*

C!Envy:*laughs softly, toying with the waistline of his boxers* This is the best I can do.

T!Ed: How did you..? *looks at him wide-eyed, wriggling a little*

C!Envy:*shakes his head* Not really me. How long has it been since you last took your medicine, again?

T!Ed: I stopped taking it the night before I left. Maybe three or four days ago? I don't know how long I've been here...

C!Envy:*looks around as the surroundings flicker slightly* There you are, then.

T!Ed: Just another hallucination... *slumps against him, eyes closed*

C!Envy:*brushes some hair off of his face, noticing how his own hand looks a little less than substantial, frowning* A dream. *holds him tightly*

T!Ed: Stay with me until I wake up. *holds onto him, starting to feel the dreamy haze lift as he begins to wake*

C!Envy:I'm not going anywhere. *leans down to kiss him deeply, pressing close*

T!Ed: *kisses back, frowning deeply as he finally comes out of it, looking around his hospital room blearily*